i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
