he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize
