Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses youâ€
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
