I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
