I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
