My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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