I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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