FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
