NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize