ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
