We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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