There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
