Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
