smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
birth control should be required to get into college
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
