): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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