my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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