I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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