Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
