So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
