I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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