you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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