he wants to bone in the snuggie
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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