You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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