why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
you will always have a special place in my vag
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
