dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
