just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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