I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
