i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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