For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
