i don't like sucking hair
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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