he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize