Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
