...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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