4 words: hood of his car
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
