im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
