Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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