Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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