she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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