Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
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