We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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