do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
