so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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