When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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