i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
