she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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