just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
We left the knife in your bed.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
