Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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