Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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