I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
