More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
