Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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