I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
