yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
