he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
