also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Randomize
