Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
