His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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