we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
