ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I cut my penus on the lid.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
