Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
