I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
