Midget sex pt 2 tonight
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Randomize
