i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
foreskin is a definite game changer
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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